Shine On...

Last January, MY SHINE PROJECT's Ashley challenged her readers to meet 100 people.
She called it simply, THE 100 PEOPLE PROJECT  .

I have always been chatty with strangers (much to the chagrin of my children) so I didn't intend on actually participating... but something started happening this year... I feel HAPPY... and have been walking around with a smile on my face.  Maybe that's the reason that quite unintentionally,  this challenge found ME...

I may or may not have hit 100... I've lost count... 
but here are three that stand out in my memory:

The Girl with Pink Hair
She was in front of me in line at Walgreen's.  I could see the "looks" people were giving her.  I told her I liked it, and was in AWE of her bravery... which was apparently what she needed at that exact moment.  We chatted for awhile... I listened and learned... and have a new friend in my phone list, 
who is encouraging me to be BRAVE!

Frazzled Mommy
I noticed her at Safeway - completely crazed - I offered to help.  
I pushed the cart with her newborn, while she gathered up her football-in-the-isle twin boys.  We chatted a little longer... (until I saw she was breathing normally)... and as we hugged good-bye, I assured her the twins would be the light of her life someday... I know from experience!  

Scary Gothic Girl
You know the kind...  and don't pretend you don't stare.
She was digging through her purse, not finding the money she thought was there... then asked the clerk to borrow the phone.  The employee told her it was not allowed!  She swore some lovely phrases as she stormed out.  Something told me to follow her to her car, where she was just sitting, staring into space.  I handed her $10 and offered the use of my cell phone.   This "scary gothic girl" hugged me and cried... because now she could put some gas in her car, and notify the daycare that she would be a few minutes late... to pick up her son... 

****

It's not as hard as you may think... and more rewarding than you can imagine...

Start with a smile and HELLO... you will be amazed at the reactions you get! 

Some are grateful... others look at you like you're crazy!
You don't have to "make friends" and hang out every weekend!
You don't have to (you shouldn't - and I never usually) offer rides...
Just listen... open your heart... and keep smiling!
You never know what a difference you can make...

I am reminded of a song we teach in Primary...
I am like a star shining brightly... 
smiling for the whole world to see...

Thank you for challenging me, Ashley!


NOTE TO SELF:  Be Friendly, NOT Flirty!  Yikes...

 

Stalking Oprah....

I'm a closet Oprah stalker... and she says to write things down... goals... dreams... life lessons.  I've been doing that since I was 10 years old.  (I should be Oprah.) Keep a JOURNAL.  Leave your regrets on those pages... and like my TUCK and SCREAM philosophy of skiing, WRITE AND RELEASE on those journal pages!  Angers... fears... regrets... leave them on the page... your journal can handle it!

The other thing Oprah has brought to the forefront (not an original idea, but she is helping spread the word) is that FORGIVENESS is NOT for the other person, it is for US!  I know it's hard.  How can we forgive when it hurts so much?  It festers inside of us like a cancer... and it spreads into all areas of our life.  Forgiving doesn't mean you have to invite them over for  dinner... but try to let it go... just let it go...  I struggle daily with a forgiveness issue.  My dreams are helping me work it out...my journal tracks my progress... I'm almost there... it is a work in progress.

Piccsy

Forgiving yourself is even more important... forgive yourself for the road not taken, and rejoice in the path you are on!  You took the wrong fork in the road?  Follow it until you come to another... and yet another... now step back and look at the beautiful jigsaw puzzle you are creating... it is YOUR picture... your story...

They say that when we are truly forgiven (repent and sin no more) that we have the miracle of forgetfulness that comes along with it.  (Not completely forgetting, for our brains have an amazing ability to remember everything)... but we are allowed to put it the back pocket... in the recesses of our memory banks, rarely surfacing anymore... no longer associated with pain and heartache... it is just something that we used to know (to kind of quote Gotya)...

When we accept that we have truly been forgiven (by others and by God) and most importantly, by OURSELVES, we can finally move forward... get out of the rut of regret...  We can only do this with prayer (to whomever you choose to pray to)... meditation (don't be intimidated by that term - it's just a fancy word for quiet thoughtfulness)... releasing our thoughts on the pages of our journals... and lots and lots (and lots) of music... and THAT's my recycled philosophy... (to kind of quote Lucy)

Don't you love it?  I'll be singing this all day... 

Happy Channukah Hannukah

As I sit wrapped in a blanket you made me, 

I'm so thankful for the traditions of the Jewish faith you shared...

and that you didn't care that I never remembered how spell it...

and that we grew up in the era of snail mail...

I miss you every day, my little redhead friend...

Happy Thanksgiving... and Hannukah 

to you and yours...

We all have ISSUES

I've cross-addicting my whole life in various and assorted anxiety-avoiding ways.
Three years ago I kind of hit that "bottom" you hear about (understatement).  

Knowing what MY bottom was, isn't as important as knowing that I have climbed out of that pit of darkness, and practice coping techniques I learned in an intensive therapy program.  We could argue all day about which addiction is worse... 

but let's just agree we all have issues...

I have been asked how I conquered mine.

But you don't CONQUER an addiction.

You subdue it... tolerate it... live with it... learn to control your triggers (urges).

But it is always lurking around the next corner,

Ready to attack... begging you to return...

There a few tricks I learned to help me deal with my daily (hourly) triggers!  But I have to admit, sometimes a good old fashioned TANTRUM is just what the doctor ordered - just do it in the privacy of your home, or you might be hauled off in handcuffs!  

Here are three of my daily rituals that really, truly help:

1. ALONE TIME every morning!

This is my MOST important ritual.

Grab a cup of herbal tea... write in a journal... meditate... pray...

Don't be intimidated by those words.  My journal is just a compilation of thoughts.... goals... lists of things to be done... lists of things I did already... even doodling...  just let your mind wander... and meditating is just quietly BEING... breathing and listening to the things around you... allowing that "still small voice" to get through... 5 minutes... an hour... whatever you need... but ALONE

2.  STRETCH

As the daughter of a ballet teacher, I learned the importance of stretching at a very young age.  I'm not talking yoga, just some nice DEEP morning stretches.   It increases the circulation... keeps us flexible... helps reduce stress... 

and just hurts so good!

Stretch like a CAT!

3.  SMILE

This should probably be #1 - Just smile more... it is contagious to others, and most importantly, to ourselves!

My second daughter came out smiling and has never stopped!

If your goal is less worry... less stress... more HAPPY...

try starting the day with a SMILE...

My smiling daughter, Carly Simone Fischer, captured on film by her smiling sister, Melissa (Emjay Photography)

Come on... just try it!

I'd love to see you smile...

Opening my WINDOWS

I've been silent in my little blogging world for a few months... allowing someone's opinion to affect me... questioning my motives. 

Have I really been TOO personal?   

Should my thoughts be saved for my journal?  

Am I too preachy?  

Do I think I know the answers to life's secrets?  

HELL NO.... 
and GUESS WHAT....

This blog gives me JOY... 

that's all that matters.

http://teresakogut.com/find-joy/

 The weather has cooled down... I'm  feeling F.I.N.E.  

My windows are now OPEN - literally and figuratively! 

Happy Day... All is WELL... SING WITH ME!

Gin Rummy Popcorn...

In the 70's life changed for us.

  Dad was no longer in show business.  We moved back to Portland.

We were broke. 

A lot of cool things can happen when you're broke... 

the best thing was the Addie Bobkins Cocoon broke away, 

and from it, emerged "Bob the Dad"!  

A dad who could go on vacations with us... 

a dad who could relax and have "Gin Rummy Popcorn" on Saturday afternoons!

RECIPE:  Pop some Old Fashioned Popcorn, 

smother it in butter, find an old black and white movie, start dealing!  Deal quickly before your opponent can organize their cards... make funny noises to fake them out... laugh till you pee!  I absolutely LOVED our lazy afternoons together.

He tried to teach me how to count cards, but to no avail. 

He DID succeed in instilling a love of movies!   Comedies... dramas... musicals... mysteries... it didn't matter!  While our buttery fingers slithered on the Bicycle Cards,

I learned the wonders of Abbot & Costello... Humphrey Bogart... Katherine Hepburn... Fred Astaire... Judy... Marilyn... Frank...

Happy Father's Day Daddy

Vertigo is on!

You deal...

Never take a Bathroom for Granted

Do you think much about bathrooms?

My friend Jerry does.

Finding this clean, accessible one, was the HIGH POINT of his day!  

Jerry has Cerebral Palsy.

Yet I've never seen him without a smile.

He is in all sorts of organizations:  UCP, NWDSA, OCDD... the list goes on.

He believes he must give back,

for he has been given so much...

I don't think too much about bathrooms... unless they clog.

I take so many things for granted...

I was at Costco yesterday.

The man ahead of me was in a wheelchair, with a rambunctious guide dog.  He was struggling to control the dog, and get out his Costco card.

With one hand holding his dog...

the other unuseable,

he used some sort of tool to reach in his pocket and bring his wallet to the surface.  

Grabbing it with the dog-holding hand, he lifted it to his mouth,

and with his teeth, extracted the card.  

The whole process took a few minutes...

I caught his glance and smiled... 

trying not to be patronizing.

He was a so handsome... a beautiful smile,

and a mischievous twinkle in his eye...

Tongue-tied for conversation ideas, I asked if I could pet his dog,

his beautiful, devoted Golden Retriever... 

That was our only interaction.  

The walk back to my car, in the outer limits of Costco,

suddenly didn't seem so far... and my Morton's Neuroma was tolerable...

I felt so happy... so humbled...

so determined to be grateful for simple things...

 like getting my Costco card in and out of my wallet...

Another friend volunteers for the March of Dimes (35 years!)

Here's her link, if you feel so inclined... every little bit helps...

Link no longer active

Where much is given, much is expected...

Don't take life for granted...

Call me.

For God so Loved the World...

When I was a little girl, I asked my daddy, 
Why do we call it GOOD FRIDAY?
It should be called Sad-Horrible-Terrible-Bad-Friday!

I'll never forget his answer... 

or the love in his eyes when he told me it was so we would 

FOCUS on the GOOD NEWS 

of the

GLORIOUS RESURRECTION!

I like that... the memory... and the message...

HAVE A BLESSED EASTER

In the Arms of an Angel

Miss you dad... 

That Still Small Voice

One of my personal goals is to LISTEN TO THAT STILL SMALL VOICE...
You know the one I'm talking about - 
the one we so often ignore.

The one that told me to stop and help a lovely couple recently...

It's a 3-mile journey to our local Safeway.  It's a beautiful walk... but you have to go over a HUGE HILL...

That's where they were... at the top of the hill, resting on a rock.

The woman was leaning forward, head in hands...
her husband was rubbing her back.

I thought they were just taking a break as I passed, 
but within seconds, my NOT so "still small voice" screamed at me:

"TURN THE CAR AROUND!"

For once, I just obeyed, and turned the car around.
"Do you need some help?"

They SAID they were fine, but I offered them some water.
I always keep some in the car,  
because dehydration can creep up on you.

Then I surprised even myself, and offered them a ride.
They looked at each other... then looked at me and smiled.
For some reason, we just trusted each other... 

We chatted as we drove back their daughter's home.
They were visiting from Colorado, and just wanted to take a walk. 

With tears in our eyes, we said our good-byes, 
exchanging hugs and email addresses...
They called me a saint... 
but their guardian angels were easy to hear...
Thank goodness I was listening...

Be still... 
you will hear it...

Obla Di Obla Da... life goes on...

Seems impossible that he's been gone eight years... 

I still miss him every day... yet the tears are not as often, 
and are quickly replaced with a smile  and a rousing rendition of 
Obla Di Obla Da!

Would we have seen him before he died, had Jocey not entered our world?

Dad almost flew on his own wings to meet his Great Granddaughter!

I fight the urge to relive that weekend...  

We shoulda coulda woulda stayed longer had we known it was our last visit... 

But something tells me daddy knew...  

 The Great Addie Bobkins is alive and well... living in all of us!

If you listen closely, you can hear his bongos..

Obla di... obla da... life goes on...

Love Letters...

My daughter caught me crying... sitting on the floor... 
surrounded by boxes...

a piece of paper in my hand...

 "What is that, Mom?  

It looks like dad's handwriting."

She was right... 

it was her father's handwriting. 
I recognized the D.J.
(he acronymed me from the start)

He would copy lyrics to songs,

and leave them on the windshield of my 73 Super Beetle,  wrapped in plastic, in case it rained...

it was Portland, after all.

I'm so glad she caught me...

It was nice for her to see that

underneath all the crap (literally), there really is love...  

At least it started out that way.

So right there, 

in the middle of all the muck...

After hours of sorting and purging... 

I was rewarded with this sweet memory... 

My husband's version of a love letter:

Just remember in the winter...

Far beneath the bitter snows...

Lies the seed that with the sun's love...

in the Spring... becomes the Rose...

30 years ago... in the 3rd row of the intimate Portland Paramount Theater...

Marcel's eyes glistened as Bette Midler sang this song.
We've been married almost 29 years.

I haven't thought about him like that for quite some time... 

what a lovely way to start the new year...

The digital age is wonderful...but some things can only be properly expressed with a pen and sheet of notebook paper...