Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Something's Coming...


This month marks an important anniversary for me...
Four years ago I started on my SOUL RE-BOOTING adventure...
Into a world of LIGHT and HAPPINESS... 
out of the DARKNESS of addiction...

Celebrating a wedding anniversary seemed lame to me - 
but THIS anniversary was something I WORKED HARD FOR!

How should I celebrate this occasion?


Sounds so simple... but what really makes me happy?

A long time ago, in a living room far, far away lived a left handed grandmother, 
with a very talkative granddaughter ...  

She gave her a shiny new crochet hook to keep her quiet...
and the rest is history...

THAT memory... in THAT living room with my grandmother, 
is where I felt the MOST LOVED and the MOST HAPPY!

What makes YOU HAPPY?
Try to remember... before the kids...
When you had time to dream...

JUST DO IT...  be HAPPY... be CALM... be at PEACE...

And remember...
A shiny new crochet hook makes everything better!

Call me,


Sunday, March 16, 2014

30 Years... impossible!

In front of my grandmother's fireplace... the only place I ever dreamed of being married...
Thirty years ago today, I took the leap from 29-Year-Old-Single-White-Party-Girl.... 
to Married-with-Stepsons... and pregnant soon thereafter!
It has been quite a journey... but as everyone calls and writes to "congratulate" us, I wonder.... 
WHY are they CONGRATULATING us?  What have we done that is so special?

I feel awkward celebrating something I didn't DO... we simply survived!
Busy-mommy-syndrome kept me in a whirlwind state for many years... while my husband traveled a LOT.  He made the money to pay the bills... and I took care of everything else.
Our marriage is traditional in that sense... probably the ONLY traditional sense!

Would it have been easier to LEAVE at times?  That is a subjective question... easier for WHOM?  
I would have had to go back to work full-time to support myself... the kids would have been devastated... sometimes staying was just easier... but we stayed nonetheless... 

I think it was the right decision... but is it worthy of congratulations?  Maybe so...


I was scared and confused a few weeks before our wedding... questioning my decision... wondering if I had made the right choice.  My father and I talked for hours about it.  He said, "Picture yourself  30 years from now... what are you doing?  Who is sitting beside you?"

That question caught me off guard... but I closed my eyes and tried to envision it.  It was an extremely vivid image that came into my mind.  I was sitting on a chair in my back yard, overlooking some sort of mountain view... sipping my tea, and crocheting something or other.  Then in my mind's eye, I turned to my side, and saw Marcel... sipping his drink... smoking a cigar... and we quietly watched the sun go down.

Flash forward 30 years...  I live on the side of a mountain...Marcel sits outside every night and watches the sun go down, while sipping on his Papa's Pilar Rum, and smoking a stogie...  I often join him... crocheting something or other... almost the EXACT image I had that day with my father... 

So as we sit by our pool... and he smokes his stogies...  I realize...
We love each other in our own way... it's nobody's business but out own... and it seems to work.


Our "Wedding March" is my absolute favorite Chopin Etude... and still makes me cry...




Call me... but wait till the music is over...








Monday, December 30, 2013

Shine On...

Last January, MY SHINE PROJECT's Ashley challenged her readers to meet 100 people.
She called it simply, THE 100 PEOPLE PROJECT  .
I have always been chatty with strangers (much to the chagrin of my children) so I didn't intend on actually participating... but something started happening this year... I feel HAPPY... and have been walking around with a smile on my face.  Maybe that's the reason that quite unintentionally,  this challenge found ME...


I may or may not have hit 100... I've lost count... 
but here are three that stand out in my memory:

The Girl with Pink Hair
She was in front of me in line at Walgreen's.  I could see the "looks" people were giving her.  I told her I liked it, and was in AWE of her bravery... which was apparently what she needed at that exact moment.  We chatted for awhile... I listened and learned... and have a new friend in my phone list, 
who is encouraging me to be BRAVE!

Frazzled Mommy
I noticed her at Safeway - completely crazed - I offered to help.  
I pushed the cart with her newborn, while she gathered up her football-in-the-isle twin boys.  We chatted a little longer... (until I saw she was breathing normally)... and as we hugged good-bye, I assured her the twins would be the light of her life someday... I know from experience!  

Scary Gothic Girl
You know the kind...  and don't pretend you don't stare.
She was digging through her purse, not finding the money she thought was there... then asked the clerk to borrow the phone.  The employee told her it was not allowed!  She swore some lovely phrases as she stormed out.  Something told me to follow her to her car, where she was just sitting, staring into space.  I handed her $10 and offered the use of my cell phone.   This "scary gothic girl" hugged me and cried... because now she could put some gas in her car, and notify the daycare that she would be a few minutes late... to pick up her son... 

****

It's not as hard as you may think... and more rewarding than you can imagine...
Start with a smile and HELLO... you will be amazed at the reactions you get! 
Some are grateful... others look at you like you're crazy!
You don't have to "make friends" and hang out every weekend!
You don't have to (you shouldn't - and I never usually) offer rides...
Just listen... open your heart... and keep smiling!
You never know what a difference you can make...



I am reminded of a song we teach in Primary...
I am like a star shining brightly... 
smiling for the whole world to see...

Thank you for challenging me, Ashley!


NOTE TO SELF:  Be Friendly, NOT Flirty!  Yikes...

 



Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Stalking Oprah....


I'm a closet Oprah stalker... and she says to write things down... goals... dreams... life lessons.  I've been doing that since I was 10 years old.  (I should be Oprah.) Keep a JOURNAL.  Leave your regrets on those pages... and like my TUCK and SCREAM philosophy of skiing, WRITE AND RELEASE on those journal pages!  Angers... fears... regrets... leave them on the page... your journal can handle it!

The other thing Oprah has brought to the forefront (not an original idea, but she is helping spread the word) is that FORGIVENESS is NOT for the other person, it is for US!  I know it's hard.  How can we forgive when it hurts so much?  It festers inside of us like a cancer... and it spreads into all areas of our life.  Forgiving doesn't mean you have to invite them over for  dinner... but try to let it go... just let it go...  I struggle daily with a forgiveness issue.  My dreams are helping me work it out...my journal tracks my progress... I'm almost there... it is a work in progress.

Piccsy
Forgiving yourself is even more important... forgive yourself for the road not taken, and rejoice in the path you are on!  You took the wrong fork in the road?  Follow it until you come to another... and yet another... now step back and look at the beautiful jigsaw puzzle you are creating... it is YOUR picture... your story...

They say that when we are truly forgiven (repent and sin no more) that we have the miracle of forgetfulness that comes along with it.  (Not completely forgetting, for our brains have an amazing ability to remember everything)... but we are allowed to put it the back pocket... in the recesses of our memory banks, rarely surfacing anymore... no longer associated with pain and heartache... it is just something that we used to know (to kind of quote Gotya)...

When we accept that we have truly been forgiven (by others and by God) and most importantly, by OURSELVES, we can finally move forward... get out of the rut of regret...  We can only do this with prayer (to whomever you choose to pray to)... meditation (don't be intimidated by that term - it's just a fancy word for quiet thoughtfulness)... releasing our thoughts on the pages of our journals... and lots and lots (and lots) of music... and THAT's my recycled philosophy... (to kind of quote Lucy)




Don't you love it?  I'll be singing this all day... 


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Channukah Hannukah


As I sit wrapped in a blanket you made me, 
I'm so thankful for the traditions of the Jewish faith you shared...
and that you didn't care that I never remembered how spell it...

and that we grew up in the era of snail mail...



I miss you every day, my little redhead friend...


Happy Thanksgiving... and Hannukah 
to you and yours...



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