I'm a closet Oprah stalker... and she says to write things down... goals... dreams... life lessons. I've been doing that since I was 10 years old. (I should be Oprah.) Keep a JOURNAL. Leave your regrets on those pages... and like my TUCK and SCREAM philosophy of skiing, WRITE AND RELEASE on those journal pages! Angers... fears... regrets... leave them on the page... your journal can handle it!
The other thing Oprah has brought to the forefront (not an original idea, but she is helping spread the word) is that FORGIVENESS is NOT for the other person, it is for US! I know it's hard. How can we forgive when it hurts so much? It festers inside of us like a cancer... and it spreads into all areas of our life. Forgiving doesn't mean you have to invite them over for dinner... but try to let it go... just let it go... I struggle daily with a forgiveness issue. My dreams are helping me work it out...my journal tracks my progress... I'm almost there... it is a work in progress.
Forgiving yourself is even more important... forgive yourself for the road not taken, and rejoice in the path you are on! You took the wrong fork in the road? Follow it until you come to another... and yet another... now step back and look at the beautiful jigsaw puzzle you are creating... it is YOUR picture... your story...
They say that when we are truly forgiven (repent and sin no more) that we have the miracle of forgetfulness that comes along with it. (Not completely forgetting, for our brains have an amazing ability to remember everything)... but we are allowed to put it the back pocket... in the recesses of our memory banks, rarely surfacing anymore... no longer associated with pain and heartache... it is just something that we used to know (to kind of quote Gotya)...
When we accept that we have truly been forgiven (by others and by God) and most importantly, by OURSELVES, we can finally move forward... get out of the rut of regret... We can only do this with prayer (to whomever you choose to pray to)... meditation (don't be intimidated by that term - it's just a fancy word for quiet thoughtfulness)... releasing our thoughts on the pages of our journals... and lots and lots (and lots) of music... and THAT's my recycled philosophy... (to kind of quote Lucy)
Don't you love it? I'll be singing this all day...
I was thinking about Phoebe Snow today... and how much her music still influences my soul.
Today is the anniversary of her untimely death.
REST IN PEACE dear Phoebe...
NO REGRETS... a catch phrase of late...
How many of us can honestly say, "I HAVE NO REGRETS?" What exactly is regret? Guilt? Pining for what might have been? We can't go back, we can only go forward... I know I know I know... But how do we avoid regretting what was... what might have been? What is the secret to moving forward with no regrets? Addiction groups preach living "One Day at a Time"... religions teach the Miracle of Forgiveness... and I believe with all my heart that we can be forgiven... but there are still ping pong naggers bouncing around in my brain... will they always be there? How DO you learn to live without regret? Google that - you will find 3,400,000 sites about it!
Women on the Fence Blog says "Mistakes are stepping stones. It's not bullshit, it's true." It IS true... what happened in my past has shaped and molded me into the woman I am today. That sounds so cliche... but like she said, it is NOT bullshit... it just takes time to realize it... like 50 years! Dating all the unstable men created a desire to seek out Marcel... a stable, teasingly stick-in-the-mud sort of guy... but I gravitated toward that because of experiences I had with other men...
I DO NOT REGRET my marriage... I have two beautiful daughters and two loving stepsons... I would NOT want a do-over on the big stuff....
But I don't know if I REGRET staying safe at home...
And what might I have missed? My father running for office... my little brother's graduation... my college experience... my parents' divorce... my first big love. I like to think that even taking a leap on some of those opportunities, may have led me to exactly where I am today... I may have taken a different path to get here, but would have ended up on the same landing pad...
In other words... all roads lead home.
So let me switch gears and remember what I DID do with my wonderful life!
MY REALITY:
I DID portray "Ado Annie" in a local Portland production of Oklahoma...
I DID have some fun in Dinner Theater productions.
What was the name of that crazy place? The Jasmine Tree!
That's not a dirty old man with the bug-eyes... that's my daddy!
I DID get a job at ADP where I learned how to do a MANUAL weekly payroll for 600 employees - and met my best friend! That led to another Accounting job with NERCO... where I met my future husband. Now I do payroll on Quickbooks for several clients, and am able to work from home.
Thank you
I DID travel a little around the country and Canada with my husband, who traveled a lot for work. Miami Beach, St. Louis, Dallas, Chicago, San Francisco... Victoria... Montreal... and Hawaii on our honeymoon... no shots required!
Honeymoon in Hawaii
San Francisco Trip
And look what I have... two boys... two girls... juuuuust right...
Be grateful - "The most valuable lessons learned in life often come from the mistakes we make. It may take a walk down a dark alley to see clearly. Embrace your follies,
feel gratitude for getting past the worst episodes and eventually
I'm a closet Oprah stalker... and she says to write things down... goals... dreams... life lessons. I've been doing that since I was 10 years old. (I should be Oprah.) Keep a JOURNAL. Leave your regrets on those pages... and like my TUCK and SCREAM philosophy of skiing, WRITE AND RELEASE on those journal pages! Angers... fears... regrets... leave them on the page... your journal can handle it!
