Stalking Oprah....

I'm a closet Oprah stalker... and she says to write things down... goals... dreams... life lessons.  I've been doing that since I was 10 years old.  (I should be Oprah.) Keep a JOURNAL.  Leave your regrets on those pages... and like my TUCK and SCREAM philosophy of skiing, WRITE AND RELEASE on those journal pages!  Angers... fears... regrets... leave them on the page... your journal can handle it!

The other thing Oprah has brought to the forefront (not an original idea, but she is helping spread the word) is that FORGIVENESS is NOT for the other person, it is for US!  I know it's hard.  How can we forgive when it hurts so much?  It festers inside of us like a cancer... and it spreads into all areas of our life.  Forgiving doesn't mean you have to invite them over for  dinner... but try to let it go... just let it go...  I struggle daily with a forgiveness issue.  My dreams are helping me work it out...my journal tracks my progress... I'm almost there... it is a work in progress.

Piccsy

Forgiving yourself is even more important... forgive yourself for the road not taken, and rejoice in the path you are on!  You took the wrong fork in the road?  Follow it until you come to another... and yet another... now step back and look at the beautiful jigsaw puzzle you are creating... it is YOUR picture... your story...

They say that when we are truly forgiven (repent and sin no more) that we have the miracle of forgetfulness that comes along with it.  (Not completely forgetting, for our brains have an amazing ability to remember everything)... but we are allowed to put it the back pocket... in the recesses of our memory banks, rarely surfacing anymore... no longer associated with pain and heartache... it is just something that we used to know (to kind of quote Gotya)...

When we accept that we have truly been forgiven (by others and by God) and most importantly, by OURSELVES, we can finally move forward... get out of the rut of regret...  We can only do this with prayer (to whomever you choose to pray to)... meditation (don't be intimidated by that term - it's just a fancy word for quiet thoughtfulness)... releasing our thoughts on the pages of our journals... and lots and lots (and lots) of music... and THAT's my recycled philosophy... (to kind of quote Lucy)

Don't you love it?  I'll be singing this all day... 

Fly me to the Moon!.

It warms my heart, the way our country rallies together in time of tragedies.

Whether it be a tornado... a flood... a bombing... or a senseless shooting.  

Whether an act of nature... or an act of a madman... 

We stare at the television, absorbing every detail... we ache for those caught in the middle. 

We mourn for those who lost loved ones... and cling closer to our own families.

We talk about it on Facebook.  

We pray... 

The heartbreak... the fear... the confusion.  

We need healing... we need forgiveness... we need TO forgive... 

somehow.

I don't want to discount the horrific event Colorado experienced today.

But I want to remember another July 20th in our history... 

The day we rallied together for a different reason.

The day our country swelled with pride, instead of tears.... 

as we celebrated the first footsteps on the moon!

Do you remember this day?  Did you dream of working for NASA?

I pray there will soon be happy news for our country... 

something that will bring us together with hugs and laughter...

and we will pray with gratitude instead of desperation.

In the meantime, here are some memories of yesteryear...

from a page in my scrapbook (hoarder that I am).

As usual, I have musical accompaniment!

July 20, 1969

I thought I was so clever... it's pretty rustic compared to today's scrapbooks!

 Check out that price:  TEN CENTS

 Front page of the Oregonian!

Our heroes...

 That historic quote... 

 Don't lock the door honey...

 More historic photos

 Nice to see that he added "and returning him safely to earth"

Even "Today's Chuckle" - wonder if the Oregonian still does this up in the corner...?

***

Life is so fragile...
never pass up an opportunity to let someone know you care...

We lost a boy from our very own area in the Colorado tragedy.
Ashley LeMieux honored him in her blog:
COLORADO SHOOTING- A HERO IN THE MIDST OF TRAGEDY

***

UPDATE

August 25, 2012

So soon after posting this... he is now gone.
RIP Mr. Armstrong...
His humility makes him even more of a HERO in my eyes...

http://www.stumptownblogger.com/2012/08/first-man-on-the-moon-dies-at-82.html

Here is how the family suggested we honor him... I like it.

No Regrets

I was thinking about Phoebe Snow today... and how much her music still influences my soul.

Today is the anniversary of her untimely death.

REST IN PEACE dear Phoebe... 

NO REGRETS... a catch phrase of late... 

How many of us can honestly say, "I HAVE NO REGRETS?"  What exactly is regret?  Guilt?  Pining for what might have been?  We can't go back, we can only go forward... I know I know I know... But how do we avoid regretting what was... what might have been?  What is the secret to  moving forward with no regrets?  Addiction groups preach living "One Day at a Time"... religions teach the Miracle of Forgiveness... and I believe with all my heart that we can be forgiven... but there are still ping pong naggers bouncing around in my brain... will they always be there?   How DO you learn to live without regret?  
Google that - you will find 3,400,000 sites about it!

The Fairy Shop

Women on the Fence Blog says "Mistakes are stepping stones.  It's not bullshit, it's true."  It IS true... what happened in my past has shaped and molded me into the woman I am today.  That sounds so cliche... but like she said, it is NOT bullshit... it just takes time to realize it... like 50 years!   Dating all the unstable men created a desire to seek out Marcel... a stable, teasingly stick-in-the-mud sort of guy... but I gravitated toward that because of experiences I had with other men...  

I DO NOT REGRET my marriage... I have two beautiful daughters and two loving stepsons... 
I would NOT want a do-over on the big stuff.... 




How to Live your Life with No Regrets, by Phylameana Desy  discusses regret like repentance:  Acknowledge the mistake...make amends... don't do it again.  Let me repeat that:  DON'T DO IT AGAIN.  Just Don't.

One thing really jumped out at me:

Do-overs - 

"Sometimes feelings of regret arise not from our past actions, but from our NON-actions."  

Do I regret my actions, or mourn lost opportunities?

MY DREAMS:

Happy Heart Card Gallery

• To live in New York - Perform on Broadway
• To backpack through Europe
• To work for Bob Packwood in Washington D.C. 

BUT:

• I was chicken
• I used my Europe money for college
• I found work at home in Portland

I WISH:

• I had gone to New York... 
• I had gone to Europe... 
• I had taken the job in D.C.  

There.  I said it.

I wish... the dreaded shoulda-coulda-woulda...

But I don't know if I REGRET staying safe at home... 

And what might I have missed?  My father running for office... my little brother's graduation... my college experience... my parents' divorce... my first big love.  I like to think that even taking a leap on some of those opportunities, may have led me to exactly where I am today... I may have taken a different path to get here, but would have ended up on the same landing pad...

In other words... all roads lead home.

So let me switch gears and remember what I DID do with my wonderful life!

MY REALITY:

I DID portray "Ado Annie" in a local Portland production of Oklahoma... 

I DID  have some fun in Dinner Theater productions.  

What was the name of that crazy place?  The Jasmine Tree!

That's not a dirty old man with the bug-eyes... that's my daddy!

• I DID get a job at ADP where I learned how to do a MANUAL weekly payroll for 600 employees - and met my best friend!  That led to another Accounting job with NERCO... where I met my future husband.  Now I do payroll on Quickbooks for several clients, and am able to work from home.  

Thank you 

• I DID travel a little around the country and Canada with my husband, who traveled a lot for work.  Miami Beach, St. Louis, Dallas, Chicago, San Francisco... Victoria... Montreal...                          and Hawaii on our honeymoon... no shots required!

Honeymoon in Hawaii

San Francisco Trip

And look what I have... two boys... two girls... juuuuust right...

Be grateful - "The most valuable lessons learned in life often come from the mistakes we make. It may take a walk down a dark alley to see clearly. Embrace your follies, 

feel gratitude for getting past the worst episodes and eventually 

finding your way along a less-cluttered path."

(How to Live your Life with No Regrets)

Noodle that a moment:  
eventually finding your way along a less cluttered path.  

A LESS CLUTTERED PATH

In the words of the great Sally Brown:
I LIKE IT- and that's my new philosophy!

Source: youtube.com via Debbie on Pinterest

April Fools - Church in Bed!

My granddaughter giggled when I told her we were having "CHURCH IN BED" 

APRIL FOOLS GRAMMY?

Nope... it's true... we are snuggling and watching CONFERENCE!

This is my absolute favorite time of year - General Conference - the first Sunday in October and April - when the Prophet and Apostles speak to us directly from Salt Lake via television, radio, satellite.  With breakfast and journal on my lap, I am ready to snuggle in and indulge myself for the next few hours... to feel that "whenever two or more of you are gathered" feeling... even over the TV/Internet airwaves I feel it... and nothing compares.  Watching it live, along with millions around the globe...We bow our heads in prayer... then the Tabernacle Choir sings.  I don't always care for choir music... but there is something about it at conference time.  Maybe it's the spirit I feel, combined with the angelic voices, that carries me to a new realm, readying my mind for the words I will hear... softening my heart to leave behind  worries and worldly craziness... so it can gently embrace new thoughts... new ways of looking at things... new ways to LOVE ONE ANOTHER...

I am spiritually FED by many... but usually one talk will stand out in my heart.
This time, it was Elder Dieter Uchkdorf (Who loves him - raise your hand!)
He gave a powerful message based on two simple words:
STOP IT.
Forgive others (everyone)... rid your heart of bitterness... STOP judging...
Do I envy someone?  STOP IT!  Do I hold a grudge?  STOP IT!   

It is an old message with a new twist... 

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES... 

It is easy to love those who love us, but how about that nasty neighbor?
STOP IT.  

A talented techie already put it into poster format:

Source: thisisnick.com via Debbie on Pinterest

I relish the words I heard today... and pray I can let go of old wounds...

forgive those who trespass against me,
and JUST STOP IT!

It's that simple.

Exerpt from Brother Uchkdorf's talk here...