We all have ISSUES

I've cross-addicting my whole life in various and assorted anxiety-avoiding ways.
Three years ago I kind of hit that "bottom" you hear about (understatement).  

Knowing what MY bottom was, isn't as important as knowing that I have climbed out of that pit of darkness, and practice coping techniques I learned in an intensive therapy program.  We could argue all day about which addiction is worse... 

but let's just agree we all have issues...

I have been asked how I conquered mine.

But you don't CONQUER an addiction.

You subdue it... tolerate it... live with it... learn to control your triggers (urges).

But it is always lurking around the next corner,

Ready to attack... begging you to return...

There a few tricks I learned to help me deal with my daily (hourly) triggers!  But I have to admit, sometimes a good old fashioned TANTRUM is just what the doctor ordered - just do it in the privacy of your home, or you might be hauled off in handcuffs!  

Here are three of my daily rituals that really, truly help:

1. ALONE TIME every morning!

This is my MOST important ritual.

Grab a cup of herbal tea... write in a journal... meditate... pray...

Don't be intimidated by those words.  My journal is just a compilation of thoughts.... goals... lists of things to be done... lists of things I did already... even doodling...  just let your mind wander... and meditating is just quietly BEING... breathing and listening to the things around you... allowing that "still small voice" to get through... 5 minutes... an hour... whatever you need... but ALONE

2.  STRETCH

As the daughter of a ballet teacher, I learned the importance of stretching at a very young age.  I'm not talking yoga, just some nice DEEP morning stretches.   It increases the circulation... keeps us flexible... helps reduce stress... 

and just hurts so good!

Stretch like a CAT!

3.  SMILE

This should probably be #1 - Just smile more... it is contagious to others, and most importantly, to ourselves!

My second daughter came out smiling and has never stopped!

If your goal is less worry... less stress... more HAPPY...

try starting the day with a SMILE...

My smiling daughter, Carly Simone Fischer, captured on film by her smiling sister, Melissa (Emjay Photography)

Come on... just try it!

I'd love to see you smile...

Finding Deborahrah - Let's do this!

Long ago, in a bar far far away, a dear friend of mine nicknamed me Deborahrah.  It's the perfect descriptive name for me:  plunky, perky, silly, drifty, all those "debbie" adjectives... but mostly, I talk to much.  Maybe that's why this blog might work.  I wonder how many friends see my name on the caller ID and don't pick up.  I'm better than I used to be... but still... this blog will be another outlet for my words.  Thank you to those who used "word vomit" to describe my conversations... I doubt that was a compliment, but it motivated me to write more... to avoid spreading my contagious disease... looks like I'm a little late jumping on the blogging epidemic train... but why not?


I was thinking of a classier name... one with more meaning and something people would remember.  My Purple Pen... Purple Peacock Feathers... Pretty in Teal... something lovely, lilting, catchy.  But everything sounds so pretentious.  So Deborarah will remain as it is.  Just me.  I started this originally so I could follow some other bloggers - friends on missions, newlywed friends, etc.  I'd forgotten all about it... and it's already in place... in other words... easy.  


But then, and as cliche as it sounds, this year has been about "finding myself."  I began a new journey October 1, 2011, and the basic theme of this journey was learning more about myself - especially what makes ME happy?  Not what I can do to make others happy (because co-dependency is an issue here), but what deep down gives Deborah satisfaction.  Well... writing is one of those outlets.  So instead of just plain "Deborahrah" how about:  Finding Deborahrah.  It is an ongoing qwest... down a long road that will lead to who knows?  I don't care about the outcome, as much as I care that I stay on this path... a path of of being true to myself... of being calm... of finding happiness in places I'd forgotten.


Never thought I'd be doing this.  Journaling yes... but blogging?  I've spent years writing my private thoughts in journals.  Why would I want to put my  personal thoughts out here for the world to see?  More importantly, who would read them?  Then one day I began "pinning."  I loved it and wanted more.  I got lost in pinning... which meant getting lost in the maze of  bloggers, on my qwest for the perfect PIN!  From one to the next to the next, not remembering where I began.  Maybe, just maybe, someone will stumble upon mine and relate to something I say.  That's kind of thrilling isn't it?  To have someone read your words and possibly be moved by them?  I'm not professing to be a great novelist, but I know there are those out there struggling with the same issues I've been struggling with.  We can get through this together... but in the meantime, this is mostly just for me... for finding Deborah... and finding the fun side of me again... my Deborahrah side!


I want to profusely thank the counselors at ABC Wellness Center for holding my hand through this process of discovery... for helping me find a way back.  I was divinely guided to them... and will be forever grateful for the "shit hitting the fan" that caused me to hit bottom - because the only way from there is UP!  Awareness, Balance & Connection... http://www.abcwellnesscenter.org/index.php

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, ANYONE CAN START FROM NOW AND MAKE A BRAND NEW ENDING" ~Carl Bard