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| In front of my grandmother's fireplace... the only place I ever dreamed of being married... |
Thirty years ago today, I took the leap from 29-Year-Old-Single-White-Party-Girl....
to Married-with-Stepsons... and pregnant soon thereafter!
It has been quite a journey... but as everyone calls and writes to "congratulate" us, I wonder....
WHY are they CONGRATULATING us? What have we done that is so special?
I feel awkward celebrating something I didn't DO... we simply survived!
Busy-mommy-syndrome kept me in a whirlwind state for many years... while my husband traveled a LOT. He made the money to pay the bills... and I took care of everything else.
Our marriage is traditional in that sense... probably the ONLY traditional sense!
Would it have been easier to LEAVE at times? That is a subjective question... easier for WHOM?
I would have had to go back to work full-time to support myself... the kids would have been devastated... sometimes staying was just easier... but we stayed nonetheless...
I think it was the right decision... but is it worthy of congratulations? Maybe so...
I was scared and confused a few weeks before our wedding... questioning my decision... wondering if I had made the right choice. My father and I talked for hours about it. He said, "Picture yourself 30 years from now... what are you doing? Who is sitting beside you?"
That question caught me off guard... but I closed my eyes and tried to envision it. It was an extremely vivid image that came into my mind. I was sitting on a chair in my back yard, overlooking some sort of mountain view... sipping my tea, and crocheting something or other. Then in my mind's eye, I turned to my side, and saw Marcel... sipping his drink... smoking a cigar... and we quietly watched the sun go down.
Flash forward 30 years... I live on the side of a mountain...Marcel sits outside every night and watches the sun go down, while sipping on his Papa's Pilar Rum, and smoking a stogie... I often join him... crocheting something or other... almost the EXACT image I had that day with my father...
So as we sit by our pool... and he smokes his stogies... I realize...
We love each other in our own way... it's nobody's business but out own... and it seems to work.
Our "Wedding March" is my absolute favorite Chopin Etude... and still makes me cry...
Call me... but wait till the music is over...
